Friday, November 30, 2012

(Share) "ROI"

One day old man Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the Illinois State Fair. 

There is this man selling plane rides in his single prop show plane for $10 per person. 

Stumpy looks to Martha and says, "Martha, I think I really should try that." 

Martha replies, "I know you want to Stumpy, but we have a lot of bills, and you know the money is tight, and $10 is $10." So Stumpy goes without. 

Over the next few years they return every year, and the same thing, Stumpy wants to ride, but Martha says no money.

Finally, when Stumpy and Martha are both about 70 years old, Stumpy looks to Martha, and says, "Martha, I'm 70 now, and I don't know if I'll ever get the chance again, so I just have to have a ride in that there airplane." Martha replies in the same old fashion, and Stumpy kind of slumps down. 

A young student pilot is standing near by and overhears the conversation...

The pilot pipes up, "Excuse me folks, I couldn't help but hear your situation, and I have a deal for you"

" I'll take both of you up together, and if you can both make the entire trip without saying a word, or even making the slightest sound, I'll give the ride for free. But if either of you make a sound, its $10 each." 

Well, Martha and Stumpy look at each other, and agree to take the ride.The pilot takes them up, and starts to do loop de loops, twists, dives, climbs and spins. 

No sound. 

The pilot lands the plane, looks back at Stumpy and says, "Sir, I have to hand it to ya, you didn't make even the slightest sound and that was my best stuff." 

Stumpy looks back at the pilot and says, "Well, I was gonna say something when Martha fell out, but $10 is $10!"

Moral of the Story : As you sow , so shall you reap .

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

(Real) "Core human problems"

I was trying to get something like this from long :

(Share) "The economics class"

 An economics professor at a  local college made a statement that he had never  failed a single student before, but had recently  failed an entire class.

That class had insisted that  Obama's socialism worked and that no one would be poor  and no one would be rich, a great equalizer.  

The professor then said, "OK, we will have an  experiment in this class on Obama's plan".

All grades  will be averaged and everyone will receive the same  grade so no one will fail and no one will receive an  A.... (substituting grades for dollars - something  closer to home and more readily understood by  all).

After the first test, the grades were  averaged and everyone got a B. 

The students who  studied hard were upset and the students who studied  little were happy. 

As the second test rolled around,  the students who studied little had studied even less  and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a  free ride too so they studied little. 

The  second test average was a D! No one was happy.  

When the 3rd test rolled  around, the average was an F. 

As the tests  proceeded, the scores never increased as bickering,  blame and name-calling all resulted in hard feelings  and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else. 

To their great surprise, ALL FAILED and the  professor told them that socialism would also  ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the  effort to succeed is great, but when government takes  all the reward away, no one will try or want to  succeed.

Moral of the story :
5. When half of  the people get the idea that they do not have to work  because the other half is going to take care of them,  and when the other half gets the idea that it does no  good to work because somebody else is going to get  what they work for, that is the beginning of the end  of any nation.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

(Share) "The tomato story"

A Jobless man applied for the position of 'office boy' at Microsoft.

 The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test.'You are employed' he said.

Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the application to fill in, as well as date when you may start.

The man replied 'But I don't have a computer, neither an email'.                                       'I'm sorry', said the HR manager.                                                                                                   

If you don't have an email, that means you do not exist.         

And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job.  

'The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket.. 

He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate. 

He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two hours,he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the operation three times,and returned home with $60.

The man realized that he can survive by this way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return late. 

Thus, his money doubled or tripled everyday. Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, and then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.

5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US .

He started to plan his family's future, and decided to have a life insurance.He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan.

When the conversation was concluded the broker asked him his email.The man replied,'I don't have an email.'

The broker answered curiously, 'You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an e mail?!!' 

The man thought for a while and replied, 'Yes, I'd be an office boy at Microsoft!'

Moral of the story : 
Moral 1 : Internet is not the solution to your life..
Moral 2 : If you don't have an Internet and work hard, you can be a millionaire.
Moral 3 : If you received this message by email,you are closer to being an office boy/girl, than a millionaire.

P.S : I am closing my Blogger and i am going to sell tomatoes.Please don't disturb !

(Share) "Being Gujarati !"

Why gujjus do well in any field :

Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe.

5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Mr. Patel.

Bill Gates: Thank you for coming. Those who do not know JAVA may leave.

2000 people leave the room.

Mr. Patel says to himself, 'I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I'll give it a try'

Bill Gates: Candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people may leave.

2000 people leave the room.

Mr. Patel says to himself ' I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen to me?' So he stays.

Bill Gates: Candidates who do not have management diplomas may leave.

500 people leave the room.

Mr. Patel says to himself, 'I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?' So he stays in the room..

Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo - Croat to leave.

498 people leave the room.

Mr.Patel says to himself, ' I do not speak one word of Serbo - Croat but what do I have to lose?'

So he stays and finds himself with One other candidate. Everyone else has gone.

Bill Gates joined them and said 'Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo - Croat, so I'd now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language.'

Calmly, Mr. Patel turns to the other candidate and says,

`Kem chho ?
The other candidate answers 'ekdam majaa maa !

Moral of the Story : I love Gujaratis and i am sure you'll too :)